not for the easily offended

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Posted 1 month ago

we were talking about the ways in which one responds to “I love you” and you told me a story in two lines of dialogue:

I said, “I love you.”

you said, “thanks.”

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Posted 4 months ago

happiest place on the internet

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Posted 6 months ago

apollinelucy:

Haymitch ! :)

via apollinelucy

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Posted 9 months ago

how do I love thee?

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Posted 9 months ago

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Rosemarie Urquico

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Posted 1 year ago

sometimes I wonder if getting involved with a complete jackass (whom you don’t realize is a jackass) is prerequisite to finding someone legitimately nice.

or maybe it’s just me, I don’t know. in the same way I think you need to date somebody unbelievably stupid before you meet someone who can really level with you intellectually. and maybe you need to have a why-the-hell-did-I-ever-do-that kind of fling before you start going out with someone long term, someone you’ll take things seriously and slowly with. I’m not one for destiny or any kind of fatalism, but I do think there’s a sort of cosmic balance that the higher powers of the universe work to maintain. and even if there isn’t, there’s no harm in having tried, well, everything.

these are just hazy thoughts that brew in my head at such ungodly hours as 12:15am. good night/morning, tumblrverse.

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Posted 1 year ago

rejection.

Rejection is an old friend of mine.

I have been rejected by one romantic prospect after another in the last couple years with varying degrees of discretion. Some simply ignore my advances (or, well, me); others tell me outright that they are not interested. And you would think that I’d learn to stay away from guys whom I know are not interested, but as it has turned out, guys who are not interested are exactly my type.

One guy in particular turned me down in my sophomore year of college with such insulting passiveness that I went back for more. It was as if his indirect rejection wasn’t good enough for me. If I were going to be rejected, I wanted all the bells and whistles, damn it. None of this non-confrontational sparing-your-feelings-not-owning-up-to-anything crap. Tell me explicitly that you don’t like me that way, otherwise I will assume the benefit of the doubt.

As you may have guessed, this didn’t work out for me very well. At least not if I were hoping for any progress. I don’t know if it’s correct to say it this way, but if anything, we progressed backwards. Sporadic flirtation turned into awkward somewhat conversation turned into occasional cryptic text messages. Eventually, our interaction became limited to chance meetings about campus, and we never talked for more than a few minutes.

Having someone else in my life right now, this doesn’t bother me like it used to. But one cannot deny that there’s a certain guilty pleasure to knowing that someone you used to strive to impress is aware that you are currently striving to impress (and succeeding to impress) someone else. We can’t (and by “we can’t” I mean “I can’t”) deny that there’s a certain satisfaction in imagining that little twinge of regret that that person might feel when they hear that you’ve moved on.

This satisfaction is not, I think, a psychological indicator of you not having completely gotten over the old flame — though many people would argue that it is. Personally, I believe that it’s just another one of those little victories that we find comfort in: the fact that someone out there is feeling sorry that they didn’t try to keep us in their lives when we once upon a time made them such an important part of ours.

I don’t know whether or not he’s heard of this new person I’m involved with, but in my head, there’s a scenario with him and our mutual friend that goes like this:

MutualFriend: I saw K (me) with this guy earlier today; I hear they’re together.
Him: Really?
M: Yeah. Didn’t you used to have a thing?
H: She wasn’t really my type, ~~although she was incredibly beautiful and talented and smart,~~ so I wasn’t really into it at the time. Nothing happened, really.
M: That’s too bad.
H: It is. I guess I didn’t realize back then how ~~awesome great amazing~~ [insert positive adjective of your choice here] she was.

Give or take a few slang words and awkward fillers. And that’s if the dialogue were in English. But you get the gist of it.

This imagined scenario also involves a lot of body language indicating stress and/or remorse. And maybe a few tears, but that would probably be pushing it.

In actuality, the conversation — assuming the topic would’ve been breached at all — would more likely have gone like this:

MutualFriend: I saw K (me) with this guy earlier today; I hear they’re together.
Him: Really? Huh. So what are we eating for lunch?

I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. But I’m pretty sure my name won’t come up again, much less the current state of my love life. Why? Because, as I failed to realize in those days that I pined for him, he doesn’t care. Or he does, but only as a good friend. (Not as a sister. Even now, when we are comfortably detached and not at all romantic, I would never think of him like he were a brother to me. That’s just wrong.)

And the thing about rejection is that, ultimately, it’s not just about someone turning you down. Once you get past the awful feeling of not being good enough, you realize that what’s important isn’t that that person didn’t want you, but that you still want yourself. It’s sad when you first think about it, yes. But just because someone else told you “no” doesn’t mean that you can’t tell yourself “yes”. Not in the sense that you could make them want you regardless, but in that you believe there was value in all your efforts. Because it really isn’t true that you weren’t good enough. It just so happened that you weren’t exactly what they want.

You make up and take up and give up yourself to be the best you can be. But not everybody can appreciate how hard you’re trying. Sometimes, they only see that what you have to offer is not what they’re looking for.

And sometimes we just need to have faith in the very real possibility of, for every dozen rejections, one person who will love (or do their best to love) everything about us. And finding that absolute acceptance is only a matter of time, stalking, social protocol and — despite everything — persistence.

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Posted 1 year ago

I’m not one for “couple activities”.

but I’d love to have someone with whom I can:

watch horror movies
debate social issues
eat at the same places over and over again
disagree
walk around purposelessly outdoors
be lazy
play with dogs

and that about sums up why I am probably one of the most un-romantic people ever. oh, and also. someone whose personal space I can constantly violate.

/reasonswhyIamsingle

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Posted 1 year ago